Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Speaking softly

Yesterday I was at church with Elisabeth. As I was getting the bicycle ready for us to leave, Elisabeth started walking toward the front door of the church. I told her not to go outside, and continued to get the bicycle ready.

I saw her continue toward the door, and was preturbed that she was seemingly disregarding my directive. Recently she has been doing much better at obeying the first time I speak, so I was surprised that she continued toward the door. I resisted my instinct to reprimand her, and instead followed her to confront her more directly and quietly.

I found Elisabeth standing out on the front step of the church with a little girl who was probably only 12 or 13 months old. Elisabeth was saying to her, "Stay here. Don't go outside," and keeping her from going down the steps. The front door of the church had been propped open for the custodian to carry out the trash, and the mother of the child was inside the building talking with someone else, and unaware that her child had wandered off. Elisabeth had good reason for going out the door even though I had told her not to - and I had good reason for restraining my tongue, particularly since Elisabeth has been showing more consistency in listening and obedience.

It reminded me that I need to be wise and patient in the way that I confront apparent disobedience and that I want to teach Elisabeth to be a responsible decision maker - like stopping a small child from going into the street, even when I had told her not to go outside.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Graham, this account of Elisabeth and the baby reminded me of that story in the news a few months back. A young boy was lost in the woods for several days, and at times had hid from rescuers because his parents told him to never talk to strangers. Teaching our kids to think through situations is very important! Good job, dad.

Graham said...

Thanks. It is a really good reminder that we have to give kids a framework within which to understand rules so that they apply them well.