Movement

Unless she is sleeping, there is motion!

On the dance floor

Elisabeth discovered the fun of a dance floor at a museum!

Walking in the rain

The only useful, fruitful . . . person

"The man that understands the evil of his own heart, how vile it is, is the only useful, fruitful, and solid believing and obedient person. Others are fit only to delude themselves, to disquiet families, churches and all relations whatsoever." (John Owen Overcoming Sin and Temptation p283)

The only way to a true knowledge of grace

When I read John Owen, I can't help but see the implications of his theology into parenting. Although he rarely addresses parenting, every time I pick up one of his writings, I gain insight into the responsibilities and privileges of parenting.

These words jumped out at me today:

There are two things that are suited to humble the souls of men, and they are, first, a due consideration of God, and then of themselves - of God, in his greatness, glory, holiness, power, majesty, and authority; of ourselves, in our mean [lowly, insignificant], abject, and sinful condition. . . .

Most men love to hear the doctrine of grace, of the pardon of sin, of free love, and suppose that they find food therein; however, it is evident that they grow and thrive in the life and notion of them. But to be breaking up the fallow ground of their hearts, to be inquiring after the weeds and briars that grow in them, they delight not so much, though this be no less necessary than the other. This path is not so beaten as that of grace, nor so trod in, though it be the only way to come to a true knowledge of grace itself. (John Owen Overcoming Sin and Temptation p282)

As parents, we must both model and teach this pattern: of a due consideration of God in his glory, and ourselves in our abject condition. If we want our children to come to a true knowledge of grace itself, we must teach them to discover and hate the deceitfulness and wickedness of their own hearts. Then will grace, pardon and love be all the more glorious, and our dependence on Christ the more true, complete and happy.

In God's great wisdom, we don't have to teach our children to do personal witch hunts, scouring their souls for lurking darkness. Rather we teach them to gaze on Christ, and to dwell in His presence. There is no better way to know our own sinfulness than by being in the presence of the Holy One - like Isaiah, who said, "Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!” (Isaiah 6:5) or Ezekiel, who fell on his face when he saw "the likeness of the glory of the Lord" (Ezekiel 1:28). Then we will quickly see the weeds and briars to root out and hate them in light of the glory we have seen.

"This is where I usually sit."

This week when we had guests in our home, Elisabeth wedged herself between the chair and the futon and announced to our visitors,

"This is where I usually sit."

"Cheezit"

This evening we took a family outing, and Elisabeth pointed and playfully said, "Cheezit"!

What was she pointing at?

Family

"Wash spit"

Here is a test of your ability to translate toddler language into adult vernacular. What is wash spit?

Pedaling

Imitating God in warning and promises

Parents (and all who deal with children) inevitably encounter the challenge of consistency. They need to follow through on their word. Yet there are times that it is appropriate not to follow through on a spoken promise or punishment.

The LORD revealed this to Jeremiah for the instruction of the people against whom Jeremiah was prophesying:

If at any time I declare concerning a nation or kingdom, that I will pluck up and break down and destroy it, and if that nation, concerning which I have spoken, turns from its evil, I will relent of the disaster that I intended to do to it. And if at any time I declare concerning a nation or a kingdom that I will build and plant it, and if it does evil in my sight, not listening to my voice, then I will relent of the good that I intended to do to it. (Jeremiah 18:7-10)

As God relents of disaster when people repent, and relents of good when people do evil, so parents have the privilege of mirroring the character of God to their children. If we, as parents, act toward our children as God acts toward us, they will learn that our word -and His - is indeed true. If they continue in a given path, they will receive the promised punishment or blessing; but if they turn from the good path, they will not receive blessing, and if they turn from the evil path, they will not receive disaster.

If we imitate God in our warnings and promises, our children will see in us the faithfulness, mercy and justice of God that is not capricious, but utterly truthful. If we utter threats that we do not follow through, or make promises that we do not fulfill, we will have very little weight when we tell our children them that God, our Father, is faithful. However, our imitation of God may be the instrument of the Holy Spirit to awaken our children to His faithful warnings and promises. How we speak to our children in warnings and promises - and how we follow through - is no light matter.

There must be a profound difference

The first priority, therefore, is the cherishing and nourishing of such a congregation in a life of worship, of teaching, and of mutual pastoral care so that the new life in Christ becomes more and more for them the great and controlling reality. That life will necessarily be different from the life of the neighborhood, but the important thing is that it be different in the right way and not in the wrong way . . . We ought to recognize, perhaps more sharply than we often do, that there must be a profound difference between a community that adores God as the great reality, and one where it is assumed that God can be ignored. (Lesslie Newbigin: Missionary Theologian p145)

Children are some of the most astute observers of human behavior. They, perhaps more clearly than adults, quickly observe the many differences between the community that adores God as the great reality, and the larger society where it is assumed that God can be ignored. Our great privilege as parents is to build every aspect of our new lives around the good news so that our children see that it is the great and controlling reality not only in word but in deed.

Good parents, bad parents

Recently I've realized just what a chasm there is between good parenting and bad parenting. Not too long ago we had some friends over for dinner who have a two-year old. When she disobeyed her parents, they were direct, clear, firm and soft in their tone. They quickly got on eye level with her. Not only did they unambiguously state that they expected her obedience, they also asked questions to get at the root of the disobedience. Was there confusion? Was there ambiguity? There would be no more because their expectations were clearly stated, and obedience was expected.

What made this incident so memorable to me is how rare it is. I was very impressed because it is so uncommon to see a parent be both emphatic and empathetic, soft in volume and firm in tone. I am accustomed to seeing parents make empty threats: "If you do that one more time . . ." or raising their voice to correct a child, or reprimanding when clarification was more appropriate.

I want to learn to be a good and wise parent, and I want to be the kind of parent that enables others to grow in that wisdom.

Reading Calvin and Hobbes

Much to my delight, Elisabeth has taken to reading Calvin and Hobbes. Here, both she and Zoe sat down with a comic anthology.

Found on the path in the park

This week as we were walking to a friend's house, we saw something rather large walking across the path, and were puzzled by how slow it was moving. When we got closer, we realized that our little (or not so little) crustacean friend had wandered from his home. (Sorry the picture is fuzzy.)

Literacy development

Elisabeth has begun asking to read words that she can decode (which is very exciting for her Daddy). It is now common occurrence that when we open a book, Elisabeth will ask,

"Is there a word that I can read?"

We find a simple two-letter word that she can decode (tonight the word was "to"), and every time we come to it in the text, she gets to read it.

It has been a wonderful transition for her in observing the flow of print, because obviously she wants to know when I get to the next "to" on the page so that she can read it. I'm really excited for her to develop a sight word vocabulary, in addition to being able to decode, so that when we read she can point out all the words she knows.

Leading and following in the museum

This week I took Elisabeth and a friend to an art museum. They were both excited to be together, and alternately had difficulty maintaining museum decorum. So I took one in each hand, and we walked through the galleries together talking about what we observed.

On several occasions I had to stop, look both of them in the eye and explain that we would run and play outside on the playground afterward, but that inside we needed to walk instead of running, jumping or galloping. On more than one occasion, Elisabeth and her friend blamed the behavior on the other by saying that each was only mimicking the other. So I had the occasion to encourage each to set an example for the other to follow. Then imitation would be obedience, and not chaos.

It was striking to me how powerful an influence each had over the other - and the influence I had to say, "Then you need to do the right thing so that ____ will want to do the right thing like you." Instead of peer-imitation being detrimental, it started to be positive as each was trying to reform the other by example!

Look what I found!

Elisabeth found a tree with a hole in the trunk . . . or two trees that grew up together.

With Uncle Tim & Aunt Jan

Elisabeth had a great time showing Uncle Tim & Aunt Jan all her favorite places!

One year ago yesterday

Elisabeth made her debut as a flower girl one year ago.
Happy Anniversary Kate and Frank!

Discovery of beauty

"It is an innate acknowledged principle that the soul of man will not keep up cheerfully unto worship of God unless it has a discovery of a beauty and comeliness in it."
(John Owen Overcoming Sin and Temptation p268)

The natural corollary of John Owen's innately acknowledged principle is:

"Let, then, the soul labor to acquaint itself with the beauty of obedience, of communion with God, of all the duties of immediate approach to him, that it may be rifled [disordered, ruffled] with delight in them" (ibid.)

For parents the implication is twofold:

1. If we are to be of any lasting good to our children, we must have our gaze set on the beauty of God and His kingdom. No personal faithfulness, or comprehensive teaching, or anything else will profit our children like our beholding and loving Christ our King. More than that, nothing else can so satisfy our souls!
   
2. The great grace that we must diligently seek for our children is that they may see His beauty, and love Him. To this end I know two primary means:
   
• Tell them of the majesty of God, and the splendor of His Kingdom, and
  
• Pray that the Holy Spirit would give them open eyes to see.

God give us grace to so see and do!

This little girl likes ice cream

Don't leave it alone

"To let [the law of sin] alone is to let it grow; not to conquer it is to be conquered by it"
(John Owen, Overcoming Sin and Temptation p266)

Hypocrisy

In one of the most scathing passages of the Gospels (Matthew 23), Jesus attacks (and I don't think there is a better word than 'attacks') the scribes and Pharisees for their hypocrisy. Six times he says, "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!" I think that it is fair to conclude from the scathing tone of his rebuke and from the content of the woes that hypocrisy is a grievous, hell-deserving evil (23:33).

Each of the hypocrisies rebuked are worthy of note, but one jumped out to me as a parent:

"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean" (Matthew 23:25-26).

It hit me on two levels:

1. What is my hypocrisy? Where am I cleaning the outside while the inside rots? Am I daily inviting Christ to cleanse me of greed and self-indulgence - not just in my actions, but in my heart?
   
2. Am I teaching my daughter what Christ hates and loves? Am I pressing the evils of hypocrisy and the blessedness of humility? Am I consistently teaching her to go to Jesus to cleanse the inside of the dish, and not merely to wipe the outside clean?
   

If hypocrisy is the sin that Jesus singles out with such intensity, how can I dare to continue in it, or fail to warn my daughter of its perils?

Fun with friends

Expressions

Did you really say that?

As a parent, I'm not the only one who is surprised by the things that Elisabeth says (although I'm sure every parent has the similar experiences at this stage of development). Tonight some good friends watched Elisabeth while we went out to dinner. When we returned, our friend Emily said that upon arriving home, she had put her hair up in a pony tail. Elisabeth looked at her and said,

"You look like a whole new woman!"

We don't have a TV, so where does she come up with these things?

It appears to me that Daddy is not in the apartment

On Thursday morning, Elisabeth walked into our bedroom (where Rebecca was sleeping) and announced,

"It appears to me that Daddy is not in the apartment."

She was right. I was out of town for a few days, and away from posting. So I'll have some fun pictures that Mommy took while I was gone up in the next few days.

Loving the swing

Jumping like a . . . flea

Not time-management techniques

As a parent, I am always looking for ways to be more efficient with my time in order to accomplish all the things that I want to accomplish. As such, it is tempting to think that time-management is the key to a well-balanced life. I received this wonderful reminder in the mail this past week that while time management is important, it is not the answer:

"Being enthralled, engrossed, captivated by someone or something has a powerful clarifying effect on our priorities. We make time for what we are passionate about and we neglect what is less important. We can be tempted to think that the right time-management technique is the answer to a well balanced life and getting the important things done. But it's not true. Techniques may increase our efficiency, but they can't determine our priorities. The heart does that." (Jon Bloom, Executive Director of Desiring God)

That is why the Scriptures say:

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. (Proverbs 4:23)

When our heart is directed to Christ, not only will our priorities be right, but even time-management will fall into place, because we will manage our time for the sake of our great end, and not merely in order to get more stuff done in each 24 hour period.

The race is on!

There are 50 stairs between street level and our front door. Since we moved in two years ago, Elisabeth has gone from needing to be carried (because the steps were dangerous) to safely walking the stairs using only the railing. As we traverse those steps numerous times every day, I have often waited for the beautiful little girl half my height to arrive at each landing.

Now that has changed. I am the one chasing her up the stairs. At some point I suggested that we should race up the stairs. Elisabeth took me at my word, and raced up the stairs, taking them as fast as I do at a reasonable [adult] walking pace! Since that day, we spend less than a quarter of the time that we formerly spent climbing the stairs. (Yes, we "race" virtually every time, and yes, she gets exciting every time about beating me to the top!)

The race doesn't stop at the door. When I open the door, Elisabeth runs to the cubby where she quickly removes her shoes, stuffs them in the hole, and announces, "I won!"

She did . . . and I think I did too.

The City of God

At long last, and with the help of two faithful compatriots, I have finally finished reading Augustine's City of God.

In the introduction, Thomas Merton recommends that "no one who is not a specialist, with a good background of history or or theology or of philosophy, ought to attempt to read the City for the first time, beginning at page one. The living heart of the City is found in Book Nineteen." Having read the whole thing, I can understand his recommendation (and can attest that some sections are overly thorough and require real stamina), and yet I believe the whole thing is worth reading.

Augustine is writing to answer those who contend that Rome fell because of Christianity, and to show that the people whom God calls (whom he calls the 'city of God') do in fact seek the welfare of their earthly cities, including Rome - but not in a way that is limited to these cities' temporal welfare.

So he traces this 'city' from Adam and Eve through the Scriptures to the present (early fifth century AD), and looks forward to their final end: "the end without end" where they forever see the face of God. I would compare it to a tour around the edge of that great City like John takes in the book of Revelation. Walking around it, you are amazed by its immensity, and when, on occasion, you get a clear view through a window into the City, it takes your breath away. There are many times in reading the City of God that one is simply gazing at enormous blocks of stone. Yet there are also brilliantly clear windows, some separated by great distances of hard stone, and others lined one after another. Book nineteen is a "window section" into the City of God. For those who haven't read Augustine, I would recommend looking through the windows of Book 19, and then going back to Book 1, with some friends, and taking the entire tour. There are many other windows in the previous books that provide glimpses of the City that simply can't be seen from Book 19 to the end.

As Thomas Merton says in his introduction to the City of God, "The City of God is an exposition of dogma that was not only written but lived," which is precisely what makes it such a worthwhile read. Thus it is best read, and lived, in community.

I can't escape reviewing the City without noting that perhaps the person who composed the blurb on the back of the book took Merton's advice and didn't read the whole thing. The blurb reads:

The City of God provides an insightful interpretation of the development of modern Western society and the origin of most Western thought. Contrasting earthly and heavenly cities - representing the omnipresent struggle between good and evil - August explores human history in its relation to all eternity.

Any would-be readers should be informed that Augustine is emphatically not offering 'an insightful interpretation of modern Western society'. He is setting that tiny piece of human culture within the grand panorama of Christ's redemption from the very first human being to 'the end without end.' Furthermore, one of the cornerstones of the City is that the struggle between good and evil is not omnipresent. Rather evil has a finite historical origin in created beings with good natures turning away from the end for which they were created; and evil will have an end, when all things are put under Christ's feet, and He is all in all.

That is the end to which Augustine writes, and to which I commend this book.

Speak much, and speak little

I talk a lot. Too much. I notice it, and I notice how it affects my daughter. When I repeat myself, her ears are less attuned to what I say, because she knows I'll say it again. When I tell her something she knows (e.g. 'Don't throw sand.'), I don't clarify the issue, I only add noise to the situation; I become a nag.

I have heard many times that the most effective parents speak much with their children. I think it is true. But now I'm beginning to realize that the best parents also speak little. They speak with their children in authentic conversation, but they don't repeat themselves, or elaborate unnecessarily. They prod with good questions, and listen much. When they speak to their children in directives, they don't nag, plead or threaten. They can speak softly, firmly and with few words because they ask questions in order to understand their children, they listen in order to know them, and they give directions to be obeyed.

I want to be a parent like that.

Taking a peek

Kaleidoscope binoculars - how to fry your brain without drugs.

Gospel Basics: The Blessed Hope

[The final part of a series on Gospel Basics. See here Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4.]

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works. (Titus 2:11-14)

Central to the Good News of God is the return and glory of 'our great God and Savior Jesus Christ.' The grace of God brings us salvation that causes us to wait for our blessed hope. It sets our eyes on the blessed hope: the hope of seeing and knowing and loving the infinitely beautiful God to all eternity.

There are, of course those who claim to be Christians and yet reject the personal, glorious return of the Savior. I think that their beliefs are so far from the teaching of Scripture as to demonstrate themselves to be anti-Scriptural in their convictions. What I believe is far more common and insidious is a sort of intellectual consent that does not lead to an expectant, hopeful waiting. The claims of the Gospel are not merely truths to be acknowledged. They are the words of life that the Holy Spirit uses to create new life in dead people. Those reborn people then live a new life of adoration of their Savior and expectant waiting of His return.

Someone who is unacquainted with the teaching of the Bible might fairly ask, " If Christ saves them from hell, they have escaped peril whether they die, or Christ returns. Why are they expectant?" And it is a good question! The answer is that those who have been redeemed by Christ now eagerly long for Him to be all in all. They want His perfect reign to be established over all the earth, for all nations and peoples to honor His name, and for His will to be done perfectly upon the earth. Although they may have run to Jesus from fear of hell, when they meet Him, He creates in them a new heart that has infinitely greater desires for Him.

And so it is that these people, whom He makes to be zealous for good works, expect the Holy Spirit to save others through their witness, but they do not expect the redemption of all things until the King returns in glory. So they watch, and wait, and hope.

[The Gospel Coalition has done a much better job than I have of articulating the core of the gospel, and its implications for our engagement in this world. May God multiply their efforts millions of times over.]