Found on the path in the park

This week as we were walking to a friend's house, we saw something rather large walking across the path, and were puzzled by how slow it was moving. When we got closer, we realized that our little (or not so little) crustacean friend had wandered from his home. (Sorry the picture is fuzzy.)

Literacy development

Elisabeth has begun asking to read words that she can decode (which is very exciting for her Daddy). It is now common occurrence that when we open a book, Elisabeth will ask,

"Is there a word that I can read?"

We find a simple two-letter word that she can decode (tonight the word was "to"), and every time we come to it in the text, she gets to read it.

It has been a wonderful transition for her in observing the flow of print, because obviously she wants to know when I get to the next "to" on the page so that she can read it. I'm really excited for her to develop a sight word vocabulary, in addition to being able to decode, so that when we read she can point out all the words she knows.

Leading and following in the museum

This week I took Elisabeth and a friend to an art museum. They were both excited to be together, and alternately had difficulty maintaining museum decorum. So I took one in each hand, and we walked through the galleries together talking about what we observed.

On several occasions I had to stop, look both of them in the eye and explain that we would run and play outside on the playground afterward, but that inside we needed to walk instead of running, jumping or galloping. On more than one occasion, Elisabeth and her friend blamed the behavior on the other by saying that each was only mimicking the other. So I had the occasion to encourage each to set an example for the other to follow. Then imitation would be obedience, and not chaos.

It was striking to me how powerful an influence each had over the other - and the influence I had to say, "Then you need to do the right thing so that ____ will want to do the right thing like you." Instead of peer-imitation being detrimental, it started to be positive as each was trying to reform the other by example!

Look what I found!

Elisabeth found a tree with a hole in the trunk . . . or two trees that grew up together.

With Uncle Tim & Aunt Jan

Elisabeth had a great time showing Uncle Tim & Aunt Jan all her favorite places!

One year ago yesterday

Elisabeth made her debut as a flower girl one year ago.
Happy Anniversary Kate and Frank!

Discovery of beauty

"It is an innate acknowledged principle that the soul of man will not keep up cheerfully unto worship of God unless it has a discovery of a beauty and comeliness in it."
(John Owen Overcoming Sin and Temptation p268)

The natural corollary of John Owen's innately acknowledged principle is:

"Let, then, the soul labor to acquaint itself with the beauty of obedience, of communion with God, of all the duties of immediate approach to him, that it may be rifled [disordered, ruffled] with delight in them" (ibid.)

For parents the implication is twofold:

1. If we are to be of any lasting good to our children, we must have our gaze set on the beauty of God and His kingdom. No personal faithfulness, or comprehensive teaching, or anything else will profit our children like our beholding and loving Christ our King. More than that, nothing else can so satisfy our souls!
   
2. The great grace that we must diligently seek for our children is that they may see His beauty, and love Him. To this end I know two primary means:
   
• Tell them of the majesty of God, and the splendor of His Kingdom, and
  
• Pray that the Holy Spirit would give them open eyes to see.

God give us grace to so see and do!

This little girl likes ice cream

Don't leave it alone

"To let [the law of sin] alone is to let it grow; not to conquer it is to be conquered by it"
(John Owen, Overcoming Sin and Temptation p266)

Hypocrisy

In one of the most scathing passages of the Gospels (Matthew 23), Jesus attacks (and I don't think there is a better word than 'attacks') the scribes and Pharisees for their hypocrisy. Six times he says, "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!" I think that it is fair to conclude from the scathing tone of his rebuke and from the content of the woes that hypocrisy is a grievous, hell-deserving evil (23:33).

Each of the hypocrisies rebuked are worthy of note, but one jumped out to me as a parent:

"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean" (Matthew 23:25-26).

It hit me on two levels:

1. What is my hypocrisy? Where am I cleaning the outside while the inside rots? Am I daily inviting Christ to cleanse me of greed and self-indulgence - not just in my actions, but in my heart?
   
2. Am I teaching my daughter what Christ hates and loves? Am I pressing the evils of hypocrisy and the blessedness of humility? Am I consistently teaching her to go to Jesus to cleanse the inside of the dish, and not merely to wipe the outside clean?
   

If hypocrisy is the sin that Jesus singles out with such intensity, how can I dare to continue in it, or fail to warn my daughter of its perils?

Fun with friends

Expressions

Did you really say that?

As a parent, I'm not the only one who is surprised by the things that Elisabeth says (although I'm sure every parent has the similar experiences at this stage of development). Tonight some good friends watched Elisabeth while we went out to dinner. When we returned, our friend Emily said that upon arriving home, she had put her hair up in a pony tail. Elisabeth looked at her and said,

"You look like a whole new woman!"

We don't have a TV, so where does she come up with these things?

It appears to me that Daddy is not in the apartment

On Thursday morning, Elisabeth walked into our bedroom (where Rebecca was sleeping) and announced,

"It appears to me that Daddy is not in the apartment."

She was right. I was out of town for a few days, and away from posting. So I'll have some fun pictures that Mommy took while I was gone up in the next few days.

Loving the swing

Jumping like a . . . flea

Not time-management techniques

As a parent, I am always looking for ways to be more efficient with my time in order to accomplish all the things that I want to accomplish. As such, it is tempting to think that time-management is the key to a well-balanced life. I received this wonderful reminder in the mail this past week that while time management is important, it is not the answer:

"Being enthralled, engrossed, captivated by someone or something has a powerful clarifying effect on our priorities. We make time for what we are passionate about and we neglect what is less important. We can be tempted to think that the right time-management technique is the answer to a well balanced life and getting the important things done. But it's not true. Techniques may increase our efficiency, but they can't determine our priorities. The heart does that." (Jon Bloom, Executive Director of Desiring God)

That is why the Scriptures say:

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. (Proverbs 4:23)

When our heart is directed to Christ, not only will our priorities be right, but even time-management will fall into place, because we will manage our time for the sake of our great end, and not merely in order to get more stuff done in each 24 hour period.

The race is on!

There are 50 stairs between street level and our front door. Since we moved in two years ago, Elisabeth has gone from needing to be carried (because the steps were dangerous) to safely walking the stairs using only the railing. As we traverse those steps numerous times every day, I have often waited for the beautiful little girl half my height to arrive at each landing.

Now that has changed. I am the one chasing her up the stairs. At some point I suggested that we should race up the stairs. Elisabeth took me at my word, and raced up the stairs, taking them as fast as I do at a reasonable [adult] walking pace! Since that day, we spend less than a quarter of the time that we formerly spent climbing the stairs. (Yes, we "race" virtually every time, and yes, she gets exciting every time about beating me to the top!)

The race doesn't stop at the door. When I open the door, Elisabeth runs to the cubby where she quickly removes her shoes, stuffs them in the hole, and announces, "I won!"

She did . . . and I think I did too.

The City of God

At long last, and with the help of two faithful compatriots, I have finally finished reading Augustine's City of God.

In the introduction, Thomas Merton recommends that "no one who is not a specialist, with a good background of history or or theology or of philosophy, ought to attempt to read the City for the first time, beginning at page one. The living heart of the City is found in Book Nineteen." Having read the whole thing, I can understand his recommendation (and can attest that some sections are overly thorough and require real stamina), and yet I believe the whole thing is worth reading.

Augustine is writing to answer those who contend that Rome fell because of Christianity, and to show that the people whom God calls (whom he calls the 'city of God') do in fact seek the welfare of their earthly cities, including Rome - but not in a way that is limited to these cities' temporal welfare.

So he traces this 'city' from Adam and Eve through the Scriptures to the present (early fifth century AD), and looks forward to their final end: "the end without end" where they forever see the face of God. I would compare it to a tour around the edge of that great City like John takes in the book of Revelation. Walking around it, you are amazed by its immensity, and when, on occasion, you get a clear view through a window into the City, it takes your breath away. There are many times in reading the City of God that one is simply gazing at enormous blocks of stone. Yet there are also brilliantly clear windows, some separated by great distances of hard stone, and others lined one after another. Book nineteen is a "window section" into the City of God. For those who haven't read Augustine, I would recommend looking through the windows of Book 19, and then going back to Book 1, with some friends, and taking the entire tour. There are many other windows in the previous books that provide glimpses of the City that simply can't be seen from Book 19 to the end.

As Thomas Merton says in his introduction to the City of God, "The City of God is an exposition of dogma that was not only written but lived," which is precisely what makes it such a worthwhile read. Thus it is best read, and lived, in community.

I can't escape reviewing the City without noting that perhaps the person who composed the blurb on the back of the book took Merton's advice and didn't read the whole thing. The blurb reads:

The City of God provides an insightful interpretation of the development of modern Western society and the origin of most Western thought. Contrasting earthly and heavenly cities - representing the omnipresent struggle between good and evil - August explores human history in its relation to all eternity.

Any would-be readers should be informed that Augustine is emphatically not offering 'an insightful interpretation of modern Western society'. He is setting that tiny piece of human culture within the grand panorama of Christ's redemption from the very first human being to 'the end without end.' Furthermore, one of the cornerstones of the City is that the struggle between good and evil is not omnipresent. Rather evil has a finite historical origin in created beings with good natures turning away from the end for which they were created; and evil will have an end, when all things are put under Christ's feet, and He is all in all.

That is the end to which Augustine writes, and to which I commend this book.

Speak much, and speak little

I talk a lot. Too much. I notice it, and I notice how it affects my daughter. When I repeat myself, her ears are less attuned to what I say, because she knows I'll say it again. When I tell her something she knows (e.g. 'Don't throw sand.'), I don't clarify the issue, I only add noise to the situation; I become a nag.

I have heard many times that the most effective parents speak much with their children. I think it is true. But now I'm beginning to realize that the best parents also speak little. They speak with their children in authentic conversation, but they don't repeat themselves, or elaborate unnecessarily. They prod with good questions, and listen much. When they speak to their children in directives, they don't nag, plead or threaten. They can speak softly, firmly and with few words because they ask questions in order to understand their children, they listen in order to know them, and they give directions to be obeyed.

I want to be a parent like that.

Taking a peek

Kaleidoscope binoculars - how to fry your brain without drugs.

Gospel Basics: The Blessed Hope

[The final part of a series on Gospel Basics. See here Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4.]

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works. (Titus 2:11-14)

Central to the Good News of God is the return and glory of 'our great God and Savior Jesus Christ.' The grace of God brings us salvation that causes us to wait for our blessed hope. It sets our eyes on the blessed hope: the hope of seeing and knowing and loving the infinitely beautiful God to all eternity.

There are, of course those who claim to be Christians and yet reject the personal, glorious return of the Savior. I think that their beliefs are so far from the teaching of Scripture as to demonstrate themselves to be anti-Scriptural in their convictions. What I believe is far more common and insidious is a sort of intellectual consent that does not lead to an expectant, hopeful waiting. The claims of the Gospel are not merely truths to be acknowledged. They are the words of life that the Holy Spirit uses to create new life in dead people. Those reborn people then live a new life of adoration of their Savior and expectant waiting of His return.

Someone who is unacquainted with the teaching of the Bible might fairly ask, " If Christ saves them from hell, they have escaped peril whether they die, or Christ returns. Why are they expectant?" And it is a good question! The answer is that those who have been redeemed by Christ now eagerly long for Him to be all in all. They want His perfect reign to be established over all the earth, for all nations and peoples to honor His name, and for His will to be done perfectly upon the earth. Although they may have run to Jesus from fear of hell, when they meet Him, He creates in them a new heart that has infinitely greater desires for Him.

And so it is that these people, whom He makes to be zealous for good works, expect the Holy Spirit to save others through their witness, but they do not expect the redemption of all things until the King returns in glory. So they watch, and wait, and hope.

[The Gospel Coalition has done a much better job than I have of articulating the core of the gospel, and its implications for our engagement in this world. May God multiply their efforts millions of times over.]

I'm the cutie pie

Not long ago, in asking Elisabeth to stand in a particular place, I addressed her as "Sweets." Since that is an affectionate name that I often use for my wife, Elisabeth quickly retorted,

"I'm not Sweets! I'm the Cutie Pie!"

Discipline as the occasion for presenting the Gospel

In my discipline conversations with Elisabeth (which have been remarkably frequent this week), I try to follow a pattern that accentuates the Gospel: that what is required of her is right, and that it is beyond her own power to perform, and that Jesus alone can give her the ability to do what is right. So in our conversation, we talk about the infraction, why it was wrong, what would have been right to do, and then we pray together to ask Christ to help us (not just the 3 year old!) to be and do what He requires.

That pattern was called into question this week as I listened to John Piper on How to Submit to the Righteousness of God. He posed the important question:

Are children getting the impression that Christianity is mainly a list of do’s and don’ts or mainly the story of how God justifies the ungodly through the life and death and resurrection of Jesus Christ?

That question had me hooked. Then he followed with two more:

Are we helping the children see saving faith both as the way we have Christ’s righteousness as the basis of our acceptance with God, and as the way we have Christ’s power to become like him in daily life? Are we keeping both those things together but in the right order: faith in Christ as the link first to his perfection and pardon, and second as to his purifying power – the one for justification (his perfection and pardon), and the other for sanctification (his purifying power)?

Those questions helped me to see that in every discipline encounter, I have the opportunity to press both the promises of justification and those of power for obedience. If I press only that Christ can enable us to be and do what He requires, then I miss half (at least!) of the glory of the good news. Not only does He give us power, but He forgives all our sins, and more than that makes us righteous with His own righteousness so that we can be the friends, and not foes, of God!

O what a privilege it is to be a parent, and to be able to present to our children daily the promises of justification and power! May Christ Himself make me more faithful in joyfully presenting these promises every day.

A flattering mouth works ruin

"A lying tongue hates its victims,
and a flattering mouth works ruin" (Proverbs 26:28).

It is very tempting to flatter one's own child. In fact, our culture actively teaches us to do it; we are told that it is important for the development of healthy self-esteem. Yet flattery is ruinous to our children because it leads our children away from the Gospel rather than to it. It exaggerates their greatness, which does not honor the truth, and deceives them about their own abilities.

The Gospel does anything but flatter us. It tells us that we are sick, not healthy; and sinners, not righteous. It reveals a Savior who heals the sick and forgives sinners, and who is stern with hypocrites and the self-assured. If we love our children, we will tell them the truth about themselves, and the truth about Christ. He is worthy, and we are unworthy. He love us, not because He sees something remarkable in us, but because He is magnificent in mercy. He has given us skills, abilities, and natural beauty that are to be enjoyed and celebrated - as long as that celebration and enjoyment turns our eyes back to the Giver of those gifts. If the celebration terminates on the recipient God is not honored, and the child is not truly built up. With flattery, the child grows proud when she ought to grow humble. She becomes self-reliant when she should be learning to trust Christ.

Am I saying that we are not to praise our children? No; not at all. We ought to praise them appropriately. What is most praiseworthy in a child? Simple, humble, trusting obedience to Christ, and under Christ to parents and other authorities. If we excel in praising (not flattering!) our children for these qualities, then they will see the Gospel: that our joy is in Christ being all in all.

If we praise them most for their physical appearance (or academic excellence, or sports prowess, or whatever), they will infer (quite rightly) that this is what we value most. If we flatter them, they will learn that our mouths are filled with lies, because they can clearly see that the words are not proportioned to their objects. If what more often spills from our mouths is praise for repentance, kindness, mercy, love and patience, our kids will see that this is truly what is most valuable.

The children of Christian parents will inevitably see one of two things: integrity, as parents commend, extol and encourage truly Christian virtues; or hypocrisy, as we profess belief in the Gospel, but care more about appearance, achievement, status, or something else. In refraining from flattery, and praising what is truly most worthy in our children, they will be pointed to Christ.

Fun on the tire swing

Watching the waves

First time on a scooter!

And a book . . . or five

Tonight Elisabeth reminded me of Olivia at bedtime. I offered to let her listen to Lilly's Big Day, and she answered,

"OK. And a book . . . or five."

If you don't recognize her allusion, Olivia is well worth reading.

A small bedfellow

Last night, because of the heat, we put Elisabeth in her toddler bed (9 inches off the floor) instead of the loft bed where she now regularly sleeps. Elisabeth has grown fond of her loft, and was not excited about sleeping on the little bed again. She threatened,

"If I sleep down here, I'll come into your room in the middle of the night!"

We weren't going to be intimidated by a 3-year-old, and continued the bedtime routine.

True to her word, somewhere between 2 and 3 am, Elisabeth toddled into our room, and climbed into our bed. We have set a precedent that Elisabeth doesn't sleep in our bed (except when she's been very ill once or twice), so we were both rubbing our eyes trying to figure out how to get her peacefully back to her own bed. I mumbled, "Elisabeth I think it's time for you to go to bed." Elisabeth, much more alert than I was, returned,

"I think this is a good place for me."

Thankfully Mommy had her wits more about her than I did, and was able to transfer our small bedfellow back to her own bed so that we could sleep through the rest of the night.

While Elisabeth is of the opinion that our bed is a good place for her, I'm still convinced that I sleep better when she's in her own bed.

Three years ago!! We spent a wonderful summer in Chicago with family. What a blessing.

Knuffle Bunny

This week we checked out one of my favorite books from the library: Knuffle Bunny.

While I'm a bit baffled by the accolades Mo Willems receives for his other books, I believe this one is deserving of notice. His integration of photography and illustration brilliantly highlights the facial expressions and bodily gestures of the characters.

The expressions in the book are priceless, including one of my favorite lines in a children's book: "She went boneless." The book is worth checking out just to enjoy that line in its context!

Coming back

I've been away from blogging for a little while with a family weekend at the beach, finishing up Augustine's City of God (finally), and some contract work. Today should be a bit more mellow, so there may be a flurry of pictures and posts that have been brewing that I just haven't had time to get to.

Hopping on one foot

Elisabeth hopped on one foot for the first time!

Riding a grasshopper

Scenarios

I am delighted that Elisabeth has begun to actively think in scenarios. She will often ask me, "Daddy, if ____ happens, then what do I do?" Most of the questions relate to what to do if someone won't share with her, or takes away something that she has (which are the pressing emotional questions for a 3 year old).

That she can now think and talk about scenarios before they occur is tremendously helpful in preparation for those events. Since she asks often, we can rehearse often what to do so that when the time comes, she is simply acting out what we have discussed many times.

These scenarios often take us straight to the gospel. How do we love others as we love ourselves? How do we consider others better than ourselves? How do we act kindly toward people who take away our things? All of those question push us to our dependence on Christ to be our life, to forgive us, and to give us love for those who don't act in love toward us.

The Ten Commandments

At bedtime, we use My First Book of Questions along with The Big Picture Story Bible for evening devotions.

Of late, we have been in the section on the ten commandments. I highly recommend this for children and for parents. Since we are reading and reviewing the same questions every night until she really gets them, it means that we are reading precisely the same words every day, and expositing them together. I have noticed myself not only memorizing the words of Exodus 20 as we read them together every night, but also growing in understanding and faith as I attempt to explain the commands in language that a 3 year old can readily understand.

I think that there a few disciplines as theologically and spiritually helpful as working hard to explain the great truths of the Bible for a 3 year old

Happy on a hot day

You shall have no other gods before me

Over the past week or so, we have been reviewing the first 3 commandments from My First Book of Questions. Elisabeth not only remembers the first commandment, but now, after saying, "You shall have no other gods before me," proceeds to list all of the things that we might love more than God - usually listing all those things in view: "like tables, or books, or computers, or toys . . ." It is an immensely helpful reminder of all the things that can become idols.

Mommy needs to sit in the front

Elisabeth is very thoughtful, and very aware of the needs of others. Yesterday she was in the car with Grandma and Mommy going to pick up Great-Grandma and Great-Grandpa. Grandma explained to Elisabeth that Grandpa was going to sit in the front seat when they picked him up. Elisabeth replied with concern,

"But Mommy needs to sit in the front seat; she has allergies."

(She gets motion sickness . . . but close enough.)

Using her hands to participate

On Thursday at Elisabeth's museum class, there was an unusual number of 2 year olds who couldn't control themselves. When the teacher asked a question, about 8 of them would start talking at once, and all continue without any reference to the others. The teacher, being wise, used creative games to maintain their attention. When the children started talking uncontrollably, she would ask them to do different gestures with their hands (so that their energies would be focused on performing the task rather than talking). It worked remarkably well to bring their focus back for a few minutes so that they could listen to the teacher.

What was even more remarkable to me was that Elisabeth used her hands to participate!
Shy by temperament, she usually sits quietly while the other kids do hand motions during singing times, and when a teacher gives directions likes these. I think (perhaps) that era has ended! It may be that she'll be able to participate in all the gestures the other kids do!

Follow through

I won!

Elisabeth has developed a new sense of competitiveness in putting her shoes away when we get home. It is our routine to take off our shoes when we come in the door, and to put them away in a cubby (so that we don't trip on the). After some months of insisting that this is the first thing that we do when we get home, the routine has been established. Now we are hardly through the door before she has her shoes off and is racing to the cubby to put them away and happily announce,

"I won!"

I'm delighted for her to be a winner!

Curiousity about babies

Today was a day full of intriguing conversations. At breakfast, Elisabeth asked,

"When I am a Mommy, what will you be?"

We spent a little while figuring out inductively that I will be a Granddaddy and Mommy will be a Grandma (which filled Elisabeth with giggles). That began the theme of the day: "when I have baby." It was fascinating to watch her little mind work, and come out both questions and comments.

"How does the baby get inside me?"

I opted for a truthful, but incomplete answer. "It is a miracle. God creates the little baby inside the Mommy." (I fully believe that the conception of each child is a miracle, because it is the creation of a human soul by God. He both opens and closes the womb, and is the author of life.)

My biggest laugh came with Elisabeth's observation,

"The baby will get all dirty when I eat, and then we'll have to wash it."

That's what comes of me saying that the baby will be "in your tummy."

True fathers

I have finally come to that part of the City of God where Augustine treats the life of the family within the city of God. Here he treats the responsibility of fathers in evangelism and discipline:

But those who are true fathers of their households desire and endeavor that all the members of their household, equally with their own children, should worship and win God, and should come to that heavenly home in which the duty of ruling men is no longer necessary, because the duty of caring for their everlasting happiness has also ceased; but until they reach that home, masters ought to feel their position of authority a greater burden than servants in their house. And if any member of the family interrupts the domestic peace by disobedience, he is corrected either by word or blow, or some other kind of just and legitimate punishment, such as society permits, that he may himself be the better for it, and be readjusted to the family harmony from which had dislocated himself. For as it is not benevolent to give a man help at the expense of some greater benefit he might receive, so it is not innocent to spare a man at the risk of his falling into graver sin. To be innocent, we must not only do harm to no man, but also restrain him from sin or punish his sin, so that either the man himself who is punished may profit by his experience, or others be warned by his example. (Augustine City of God p695)

The great responsibility of the father is to seek that his family may worship and win God (by grace through faith), and become citizens of the eternal city. It is to that end that he disciplines: to restrain those in his household from sin, to warn others by example, and to spare them from falling into graver sin. He rightly sees that disobedience 'dislocates' the offender from the harmony of the family and must be 'readjusted to the family' through appropriate correction. Discipline is not penal (although he does use the word punishment), but corrective and restorative "that the man himself who is punished may profit by his experience" not just as a citizen of this earthly city, but as a citizen of the eternal city.

Augustine on slavery and bondage

And thus there are many wicked masters who have religious men as their slaves, and who are yet themselves in bondage; "for of whom a man is overcome, of the same he is brought into bondage." And beyond question it is a happier thing to be the slave of a man than of a lust; for even this very lust of ruling, to mention no others, lays waste men's hearts with the most ruthless dominion. Moreover, when men are subjected to one another in a peaceful order, the lowly position does as much good to the servant as the proud position does harm to the master. (Augustine City of God p694)

When I read this passage, I couldn't help but see how clearly Augustine described the future situation of racism and slavery in the United States. Many wicked masters had righteous slaves, and the masters were in a more harmful bondage than their slaves. That lust of ruling did, and does, lay waste men's hearts with ruthless dominion, such as devastated the morality of the white culture. Where humility and righteousness flourished among black slaves, their grace and power manifested the glory of the gospel and its omnipotent power to subvert the powers of this age.

If I am not mistaken, this is precisely where the abolition and civil rights movements accomplished only partial success. They brought black Americans out of one kind of bondage (which was evil and oppressive), but did not with all their might fight to avoid the bondage which had enslaved their masters. That beauty and humility that was in so many places evident through the gospel in black communities was not treasured above power and freedom.

O how I long and pray for that day when homes like that of Ruby Bridges would again adorn the Gospel and display true freedom and the mercy of Christ!

Pink dress

On sharing

For the possession of goodness is by no means diminished by being shared with a partner either permanently or temporarily assumed; on the contrary, the possession of goodness is increased in proportion to the concord and charity of each of those who share it. In short, he who is unwilling to share this possession cannot have it; and he who is most willing to admit others to a share of it will have the greatest abundance to himself. (Augustine City of God p483, emphasis mine)

In the gospel, foolishness is proclaimed. The way to have more is by sharing; the way to have less is by hoarding. This must be impressed upon children from infancy, for the world will consistently tell them the opposite - and indeed, apart from the gospel, the opposite is true.

The family of the just man who lives by faith

But in the family of the just man who lives by faith and is as yet a pilgrim journeying on to the celestial city, even those who rule serve those whom they seem to command; for they rule not from a love of power, but from a sense of the duty they owe to others - not because they are proud of authority, but because they love mercy (Augustine, City of God p693)

To live by faith as a father is to "serve those whom they seem to command." I would interpret Augustine's "duty they owe to others" to be the debt of love, not an obligation of service. The great responsibility of a father is to live as a pilgrim, serving his family, and doing all within his power to see that his household love God.

I wish I was a grown up

"I wish I was a grown up, Daddy. Then I could reach the light switch all the time."

Ordinate love

And thus beauty, which is indeed God's handiwork, but only a temporal, carnal and lower kind of good, is not fitly loved in preference to God, the eternal, spiritual and unchangeable good. When the miser prefers his gold to justice, it is through no fault of the gold, but of the man; and so with every created thing. For though it be good, it may be loved with an evil as well as with a good love: it is loved rightly when it is loved ordinately, evilly, when inordinately (Augustine City of God p510, emphasis mine).

These are the kind of sentences that I want to ring in my children's ears throughout their lives, that they would learn the wisdom of God having the supremacy, and all other good things having their proper place as they are loved ordinately.

The measure of the Church

In this wicked world, in these evils, when the Church measures her future loftiness by her present humility . . . when she soberly rejoices, rejoicing only in hope, there are many reprobate mingled with the good, and both are gathered together by the gospel as in a drag net . . . until it is brought ashore, when the wicked must be separated from the good, that in the good, as in His temple, God may be all in all. (Augustine City of God p660)

It is, in my opinion, important that children learn early that the gospel gathers both the good and the bad, and that in this age the Church is a mingled multitude, measuring her future loftiness by her present humility (not iniquity!). Then we will learn how to love one another within the Church through the gospel, confident that it is the power of God to save those who believe - and to convert those who are in the Church and have not yet truly believed. We do this that God may be all in all to all.

Our (somewhat) brave kid

Having a great time keeping cool.

Bench #3

The good war

For better is it to contend with vices than without conflict to be subdued by them. Better, I say, is war with the hope of peace everlasting than captivity without any hope of deliverance. We long, indeed, for the cessation of this war, and, kindled by the flame of divine love, we burn for entrance into that well-ordered peace in which whatever is inferior is for ever subordinated to what is above it. (Augustine City of God p786)

Augustine sounds a lot like John Owen . . .

A most important parable for children

Children who grow up in the Church are often familiar with dramatic events of Scripture: the parting of the Red Sea, Jonah and the whale, the feeding of the five thousand, and the healing of the paralytic who came through the roof. In addition to these important events featured in most children's Bibles, I strongly believe that parables play an important role in instructing young children in the Gospel.

There is one parable that I think ranks at the head of the parables for three reasons:

1. Children can readily relate to the experience of the characters.
2. The parable is relevant to children on a daily basis.
3. It captures the essence of authenticity and repentance.

It is the parable of the two sons:

“What do you think? A man had two sons. And he went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work in the vineyard today.’ And he answered, ‘I will not,’ but afterward he changed his mind and went. And he went to the other son and said the same. And he answered, ‘I go, sir,’ but did not go. Which of the two did the will of his father?” They said, “The first.” Jesus said to them, “Truly, I say to you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came to you in the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes believed him. And even when you saw it, you did not afterward change your minds and believe him. (Matthew 21:28-32)

Every day I have conversations with Elisabeth about obedience and repentance. For that reason, I believe it is critical for her to understand that it is not mere words that I desire, but obedience. I want her to know that repentance is far better than hypocrisy. Furthermore, I want her to see that it is not just because that's what I prefer, but because it the way of righteousness that Jesus has laid before us. More than that, it is good news for people like us, who sin on a daily basis, whose only hope is God-enabled repentance.

It is not enough to tell my daughter that this is the way; I must demonstrate repentance rather than hypocrisy. Then, by grace, she may see the way into the Kingdom of God.

Bench #2

Gospel Basics: New Birth

[Part 4 of a series on Gospel Basics. See here Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3.]

It is an entirely reasonable question to ask in what way a person becomes a partaker of the Gospel. It is the good news of the gracious God to treacherous rebels, calling them to and enabling holy life. The pressing question is: How does one receive this good news? Paul answers that very question in expounding the goodness of God:

But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life. (Titus 3:4-7)

Regeneration means new birth. This new life is the work of the Holy Spirit, without which the Gospel remains merely true words to those who hear it. God saves us through the regenerating work of the Spirit poured out through Jesus Christ our Savior. The language of the good news is inescapably trinitarian. It entails the Father, Son and Spirit. The Father saves us through the Son by the Spirit.

The effect of God's way of saving us is to procure all of the honor for Himself. We cannot claim that we were deserving, or repentant (from ourselves). Our only claim is that we were dead, and through the good news God gave us new life by His Spirit.

So where does that leave us? If you have any inclination at all to believe this devastating news, that is the work of the Spirit. When the receive the gospel on its own terms: that we were dead, disobedient, deceived and enslaved, unable to save ourselves, the only way to believe it is for the Spirit to regenerate us and renew us. Trusting God to save us is the mark of that new life. That is why Christians can boldly announce this good news to dead people: not because people are going to see that it has the best cosmology, or the best ethics, or leaves the fewest unanswered questions, but because through the proclamation of this humbling message the Holy Spirit gives new life to people and enables us to believe!

Gospel Basics: Holy Life

[Part 3 in a series on Gospel Basics. See here Part 1 and Part 2.]

The good news of grace comes to foolish, disobedient, enslaved people with glorious mercy for all people:

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age . . . (Titus 2:11-12).

Many are willing to accept grace; some are even willing to admit that they had been foolish disobedient and enslaved; but fewer still are willing to accept the Gospel as that which trains us to renounce sin, and live upright lives in this age. This is the 'narrow gate' of the Gospel. At every point it shatters our pride, and puts us completely on Christ. Just as we did not merit love, nor had we power to repent, now we cannot live without continual trust and dependence on Christ to enable us to renounce that which once enslaved us, and to live self-controlled (that is to say, Christ-controlled) lives in this present age.

This is the core of the Good News. It is the message of a holy God who reconciles unholy people to Himself, makes us holy in this age progressively, and in the age to come, completely and finally. It is not a message of license, but of liberty. We become free, for the first time, to live as we were created to live: loving our Creator with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength; and loving our neighbors as ourselves. This, indeed, is good news.

Lex orandi lex credendi

Lex orandi lex credendi. 'The rule of prayer is the rule of faith.'

I think one of the great advantages of an intentionally liturgical church is that in the weekly (and even daily) prayers, the theology expressed is profound and true. I find myself worshiping deeply through the words of the Anglican liturgy because they express and celebrate the glory of the gospel. Better yet, they are doxological. They do not merely say true things about God, but address Him with joy and adoration.

It struck me recently that bedtime prayers are rightly subject to this maxim, lex orandi lex credendi. I am praying with Elisabeth, and I am also teaching. I am teaching her the things that are worthy of bringing to the Father, whilst teaching her how to approach Him. Bedtime prayers are, whether we consider it or not, profound daily instruments of theological and practical instruction. For this reason, I think it is both important and appropriate to praise God with our children for the glimpses we have had of Him in the Scriptures and in experience on that particular day, and to ask Him for the extension of His kingdom in our neighborhood and to the ends of the earth. This, I believe, is one important way that children develop a missional approach to life, to the glory of God.

Reading at her desk

Swinging together

Breaking with tradition

Yesterday Elisabeth broke with her tradition of refusing naps. Usually bed is the singular cure for a nap. She'll be tired and say, "I want to rest," or "I want a nap." If she climbs in bed, it is almost a sure thing that she'll be back in 5 minutes, reinvigorated and having forgotten about her sleep needs.

So yesterday I assumed it was more of the same when she said she was feeling tired and wanted to rest on the loft bed. I let her climb up and lie down, assuming that after five minutes of quiet I'd hear her little voice again. Ten minutes passed in silence, and I climbed up to peek: asleep! This is the first time she has ever napped on the loft, and one of the few times that she has self-initiated a nap and gone to sleep without talking [apart from the stroller, which works like sleeping pills].

Perhaps after a year and a half of not napping, we're returning to a napping stage?

Cranberry Chicken

One of our favorite go-to meals is cranberry chicken. It is very easy, and very tasty.

Ingredients:

• 1 can whole cranberry sauce
• 8 oz thousand island or Russian salad dressing
• 1 package onion soup mix
• 3 chicken breasts, filleted to make 6 fillets
  

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 300 degrees.
   
2. Mix the cranberry sauce, thousand island dressing and onion soup mix in a large bowl.
3. Fillet 3 chicken breasts to make six fillets.
4. Spread a layer of the cranberry mixture (roughly 1/3 of the mixture) over the bottom of a 13x9 glass baking dish (or similar). Spread the fillets on the cranberry sauce. Then cover the chicken breasts with the remaining mixture.
5. Cover with tinfoil (or glass lid).
6. Bake at 300 for 90 minutes.
7. Serve over (jasmine) rice.

HT: the Pucketts and the Cagwins :)

Bench #1

We took a bunch of fun pictues on a bench yesterday. So this is the first in a series. :)

Love of God and neighbor

But as this divine Master inculcates two precepts - the love of God and the love of our neighbour - and as in these precepts a man finds three things he has to love - God, himself and his neighbor - and that he who loves God loves himself thereby, it follows that he must endeavor to get his neighbor to love God, since he is ordered to love his neighbor as himself. He ought to make this endeavor in behalf of his wife, his children, his household, all within his reach, even as he would wish his neighbor to do the same for him if he needed it . . . (Augustine City of God p692)

There are three insights from Augustine's exposition of the two great commandments that leap off the page at me.

1. "He who loves God loves himself thereby . . ." Love of God, not love of self, is the starting place. He is the center of focus. When we obey the first and greatest commandment, to love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, we find there our greatest satisfaction and joy. Contrary to what many would suggest, we do not need to be taught to love ourselves. (Jesus certainly never taught it.) Rather, when we love God as all in all, the self assumes its rightful place of humble adoration and does not even have to think about loving self because it is enthralled with God, and unspeakably happy.
2. "It follows that he must endeavor to get his neighbor to love God, since he is ordered to love his neighbor as himself." The only way for a Christian to love others is to help them to love God. For the Christian, anything less is a mere shadow of love.
3. "He ought to make this endeavor in behalf of his wife, his children, his household, all within his reach. . ."
The primary place where this love is expressed is to those within reach, specifically within one's own family. The most powerful expression of this love is prayer, through which the Spirit creates love for God in the hearts of others.

Talking to children about race

I think a lot about race and culture. I grew up in a dominantly white environment, and went to a dominantly white college. Then I lived in Uganda, where I was a distinct minority. I returned to the States to move to an urban black neighborhood where I lived for five years, for three of which I taught in the local public school. Now I live on a cusp, between a rich white neighborhood and a much less wealthy Hispanic neighborhood (and likely will move back into a predominantly black neighborhood). Race and culture are not things that I think about in the abstract, but part of my daily life.

For that reason, I think much about how to teach our children about race and culture. For most of my answers, I look to a handful of articulate, black Christian men. I highly recommend Thabiti Anyabwile on talking to your children about race and tips for talking about race. He is wise, insightful, and relentless in focusing on the Gospel. I've found Lance Lewis to have some keen insight on issues of race and culture, and I think that Anthony Carter's book On Being Black and Reformed is an outstanding book for an outsider to get a better understanding of race and the Gospel.

If you know of other wise voices for helping kids to understand race through the Gospel, please share!

Reflection and action

No man has a right to lead such a life of contemplation as to forget in his own case the service due to his neighbor; nor has any man a right to be so immersed in active life as to neglect the contemplations of God (Augustine City of God p698)

This is the tension of gospel parenting, and indeed of our entire life in this world. In order to be conduits of grace to our children and neighbors, we must be steadfast in communion with God. We can afford to be lax neither in devotion, nor discipline.