Monday, December 04, 2006

A soft answer turns away wrath

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Prov 15:1)
O how true this is! The soft answer keeps the focus on the issue, and not on the confrontation itself. It also makes clear to a child that one does not need to resort to volume to establish authority. Speaking softly makes clear that authority is found elsewhere - and speaks volumes.

As I write this, I am so grateful for my experience as a teacher. I wish I could say that as a teacher I never raised my voice, but my students can tell you that is not true. However, my first-year students will tell a different story than those that I had in subsequent years. I heard rumors of teachers who never spoke above a conversational tone - and their students listened! They are my heroes. I don't get to emulate them in the classroom anymore, but I do at home. I strongly believe that parents and teachers who understand their authority, and the nature of their children's hearts, can consistently speak softly, even in conflict, and can build the respect and admiration of their children.

[Note: After I composed this post, I had a confrontation in my weekly science class. I took the group on a field trip to the park to observe trees (which is much more interesting than it sounds). There were two new students with us, who apparently aren't accustomed to having to obey. They were running around, and I told them to stop, and they didn't. I raised my voice to get their attention, and then told them in no uncertain terms that if they couldn't follow directions, I wouldn't take them on field trips. In retrospect, I think I would have been much better off to have found another, quieter way to get their attention, and then told them with the same firmness that their behavior would not be tolerated. Speaking softly is fairly easy with Elisabeth, but I'm still not where I want to be in living by this with other people's children.]

2 comments:

emily said...

Grahm - I am Matt and Meg's friend from Waco Texas and I love your blog. What great insight! (Meg's mom forwarded me the link!) Have you read Shepherding Your Child's Heart by Ted Tripp? It lines up with what you're doing, sound theologically and wonderfully practical. You would love it. Blessings to you -

Graham said...

Hi, Emily. You're right on Shepherding a Child's Heart. I do love it. It is the top of my list of parenting books. Do you know of other books in the same vein?

Thanks again, and drop by anytime!