Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Teaching code switching

We're at that stage where we need to intentionally teach Elisabeth how to address adults. In that process, I have observed (and remembered) that children learn to code switch. What I mean is this: If a child is taught to address adults generally as Mr., Mrs., and Miss (Last name), and closer family friends as Mr., Mrs. and Miss (First name) or Auntie and Uncle (First name), she or he will pick up on the fact that adults do not address each other in this way. This is not only good, but important. It means that they will learn that different rules of interaction apply to different people. So, when I say, "I'm going to call Jeremy," it is most natural for her to reply, "Daddy, why are you going to call Uncle Jeremy?" She is perceiving that the relationship between Daddy and Jeremy is different from the relationship between Elisabeth and Jeremy.

I am not saying that there is one way, regardless of culture, for children to address adults. I am saying that it is important to teach respect for elders in the ways that children address adults, and that asking them to address adults in ways different than Mommy and Daddy do is not only appropriate (and possible!) but also helpful.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hm! That's really interesting-- even for a non-parent!

Thanks again for this blog-- I check it daily now. This morning I read back to the (now-not-visible) one about preaching to ourselves. I needed it this morning especially.

Good stuff. Peace.
Dan

Graham said...

I'm glad you're enjoying it. I'll have to remember to put up some more Bonhoeffer, just for your enjoyment!

Anonymous said...

I'm wondering if you've ever encountered anyone that's resisted being called by a title ("Oh, she can just call me Jane instead of Mrs. Doe"). In that situation, what would you do?

Haley

Graham said...

I don't have any problem with that. The person who has authority to set the rules has changed them in saying, "I give you permission . . ."

Then Elisabeth knows that the norm is that you call someone by their title, (Mr., Mrs. or Ms. + last name) until that person invites you to call them something else.