If I can only teach you one thing

For three years I taught in a public elementary school. I repeatedly told my second- and third-grade students, "If I can only teach you one thing, I will teach you to listen, because if you can listen well, you can learn anything." I stand by that. Good listening skills serve a child well in all of life, particularly in the toughest classrooms where many of their peers are not as interested in learning. Active listening skills are essential in resolving conflict peacefully.

Now as we are raising a toddler, I realize that I need to practice what I preach. One of the greatest skills I can teach Elisabeth is how to be an active, attentive listener.

Once, after my assistant principal observed a lesson I taught, she said to me, "You need to repeat your directions to the students. Children learn by repetition." She was right. Children do learn by repetition. However, she was entirely wrong on the application. If I consistently repeat myself, my students will learn not to listen the first time. That brief conversation has taught me much in parenting:

Speak once, and expect your children to listen. Children live up to the expectations placed on them.