Discipline that restores

On the recommendation of the folks at Parenting is Heart Work, I have adopted a model of discipline that I think is effective and Biblical. They suggest that after an incident, the parent ask three questions and then give encouragement.

First, the questions:
(1) What did you do wrong?
• teaches the spiritual discipline of confession
• teaches them to take responsibility for their part of the problem (even if there are others at fault)
(2) Why was that wrong?
• reinforces the rationality of rules
• confirms that the child knows why what they did was unacceptable
(3) What are you going to do differently next time?
• turns the conversation from negative to positive
• enables the child to verbalize what should happen

Then the encouragement:
(4) Go ahead and try it!
• conclude with encouragement to repent

Although they do not prescribe prayer as part of the discipline process, I started praying with Elisabeth every time we have an incident on the recommendation of Ted Tripp. I think it is immensely valuable; indeed I think it is major part of what distinguishes Christian parenting from non-Christian parenting.