Giving Alternatives

On a daily basis I give Elisabeth dozens of alternatives because I believe that it is important for her to learn to make responsible decisions and giving her choices about things over which she can made decision means that we far less often have conflict about the things about which she cannot make decisions.

For example, every night I ask her, "Would you like to put on your pajama pants first or your pajama shirt?" Putting on her own pajamas is non-negotiable. At this age, she needs to be able to do it. However, it doesn't matter to me at all whether she puts on the pants first or the shirt, so I give her the choice. Then she grows in the ability to make responsible, independent decisions, and resistance to putting on her pajamas is diverted.