Let's watch TV

Spring has arrived, and last week I put the air conditioner in the window in anticipation of the summer months. After installing it, I set the remote control on top of the air conditioner for whenever that time comes that we start using it.

Yesterday Elisabeth picked up the AC remote and said, "Let's watch TV!" She pointed the remote at the AC unit and 'changed the channel.' "Now I'm turning up the volume," she explained. "Is that too loud?"

O how grateful I am that we can pretend to have a TV!

Navigating the sandbox

Today in the playground sandbox, a little boy came up to Elisabeth and snatched a shovel out of her hand. She tried told on, but then let it go. So she picked up the bucket, which he promptly snatched and walked away. This is a not uncommon scenario in the park, and one of the reasons that I am profoundly convinced of the importance of active gospel parenting.

Elisabeth has just been wronged. Now she has to choose how to act. Does she withdraw? Does she yell at him? Does she take back the bucket and shovel? Does she appeal to his parent? Or does she appeal to me? I believe that the course that she takes will be dramatically influenced by what I teach her, both directly, and by example. It is my responsibility to impress the call of the gospel to do good to those who mistreat us, to forgive, and confront injustice.

I was really proud of how she handled the situation today. Usually in this scenario, she comes to me to ask me to intervene. My usual reply is, "What did you say to him? Did you use words? Did you ask for it back? Did you find a solution?" Steadily she has learned that I'm not going to resolve situations for her at the first try. I'm going to send her back to appropriately confront the offender. That's exactly what she did today . . . without coming to me first! The boy didn't really respond to her, and watching from the side, I wondered if he had a receptive processing delay, or perhaps was not an English speaker. Elisabeth (again!) did exactly what we had talked about. When the words didn't solve it (because he didn't seem to get it), she went on with life and found some other toys to play with. She had done all three: kindness, forgiveness, and respectful confrontation.

The little boy continued walking around the sandbox taking toys from other children and walking off with them as if they were his own. Elisabeth and her friend sat down with me to build a sand mountain. The shovel-hungry boy wandered over to play with us, and I was quite surprised to discover that he did speak English and had basic receptive and expressive abilities. When I spoke firmly about not throwing sand, not taking things from others and working with us to build the sand mountain, he complied with them all.

It only further convinced me that kids respond to active teaching. His nanny was actively teaching that she was going to sit on the side and not intervene (or yell idly), and consequently he was a pest to all the other kids in the sandbox, and friendless. When I was sitting eye to eye with him in the sandbox, he could obey and enjoy playing with other kids. Kids must be taught well to navigate the sandbox. It will lay the foundation for how they navigate school, and life beyond.

Correspondence

In my experience, one of the challenges of being a full-time parent is making time for all the things that need to get done that are not as easily done with a baby or toddler around. Since I'm always looking for ways to be more efficient about the things that need to get done, I especially appreciated these tips on how to be efficient with email.

HT: Justin Taylor

[Note: spelling of correspondence corrected]

Eating daily of the tree of life

He that makes it his business to eat daily of the tree of life will have not appetite unto other fruit, though the tree that bear them seem to stand in the midst of paradise. (John Owen Overcoming Sin and Temptation p215)

The great business of parenting is to teach our children to feed daily on the tree of life, that they may not have appetite for deceitful fruit. Yet we cannot teach what we do not know, and so it is first the responsibility of parents to learn for ourselves (not only for our own sakes, but for our children's) to drink daily of the water of life and feed on the bread of life in order to be able to model, impart and teach.

Cupcake smile

A good habit

I recently heard C.J. Mahaney describe one of his habits in preparing to preach. After studying the text, praying, and constructing the sermon, on the Saturday night before he is to preach, he makes a habit of reading Charles Spurgeon's sermon on that particular text in order that his own spirit might receive life through that passage in preparation to offer that grace to others the next day.

From my exposure to Spurgeon, I can't imagine that anyone who made such a habit would fail to learn how to preach well from one of the most capable and faithful English-speaking preachers.

For that matter, if a parent wants to learn how to interpret the Scriptures to children, to make it accessible, and to make Christ and the Gospel central, reading Spurgeon on any text that you're going to unfold is a great way to learn from a great model.

Here we have no lasting city

For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come (Hebrews 13:14).

How does one teach a child to 'seek the welfare of the city' in which we live with the recognition that 'here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come'?

If this tension is not identified, and maintained, we will tend to one of two errors (both of which are common):

1. Seeking the welfare of the city of our exile with the illusion that the changes to it will be enduring.
2. Seeking the city to come in a way that ignores and harms the welfare of the city of our exile.

The only way that we can teach our children to be truly responsible citizens of the 'city of man' is to teach them to be faithful citizens of the 'city of God.' Then, and only then, will they understand to seek the welfare of this temporary city in a way that confesses its transience and calls the passing city to join us in seeking the city that is to come.

This, I believe, is why Christians are called to gospel entrepreneurship, ventures that provide a foretaste of the Kingdom of Christ with whom we do business, act as a sign of the redemption that Christ has wrought, and are the instrument of God's saving and redeeming work within this fleeting city. If we are faithful to the Gospel of Christ, the ways that we seek the welfare of the city of our exile will at the same time witness to the city that just and equitable business alone cannot and will not redeem a city. She needs a Redeemer, who is the Ruler of the city to come.

I can hear the (warranted) questions: Can't this happen in existing businesses? Why entrepreneurship? Those are questions for another post . . .

Getting set to slide

Irresistable!

Last week Elisabeth and I were in the park, and there was a clown creating balloon art and selling the balloons to parents and children in the playground. Elisabeth saw him and was intrigued by the balloons. When she realized that he was making them for children, she turned to me and asked,

"Daddy, may I please have one of those that the clown is making?"

I was overjoyed by the way she asked: with polite words, in a polite tone, without any sort of whining or manipulation. For quite some time now, we have been working on all of those elements, and it was such a joy to see them all come together in one request. I think it was a small glimpse of the way our Father views our prayers when we come humbly.

If you think you deserve to be a Christian . . .

"If you think you deserve to be a Christian, I promise you: you're not." (Mark Dever)

This is the kind of preaching that kids need to hear. They need to hear from the start that the starting place of the Gospel is that we are undeserving. If in time we lapse into thinking that by reason of our religious performances (or anything else) we deserve to be Christians, we have turned away from the Good News of Christ.

I want my children to feel that the peril of not trusting Christ is greater than the peril of drugs or sexual promiscuity, or any of the other evils that can ensnare them and make them miserable. I want them to see that being cut off from Christ is the real peril, so that they hate sin first and foremost because it separates them from God, and not primarily because it makes them feel bad about themselves, or kills their brain cells, or establishes dysfunctional relationships.

For the world against the world

When I read Lesslie Newbigin: Missionary Theologian, I found the following excerpt both profound and confusing:

The cross is the total identification of Jesus with the world in all its sin but in that identification the cross is the judgment of the world, that which shows the gulf between God and his world, and we must always, in every situation, be wrestling with this reality: that the Church is for the world against the world; the Church is against the world for the world. The Church is for the human community in that place, that village, that city, that nation, in the sense which is determined by the sense in which Christ is for the world. And that must be the determining criterion at every point. (Lesslie Newbigin: Missionary Theologian p134, emphasis mine)

Recently, I have begun to see what he means in the practice of entrepreneurship. The Church, as she engages in commerce is for the world in the sense that she serves the public good in creating capital, establishing just and equitable business practices, giving human dignity in work, and many other ways. Yet she is for the world against the world in that the love for Christ which motivates her involvement for the world simultaneously subverts the worldly economic system. It dethrones profit as a god, and establishes Christ as the King of commerce; it creates capital and wealth not primarily for itself, but for assisting those who need help: the refugee, orphan and widow; it puts no trust in its power to create capital, nor in the wealth it possesses, but in God, who is the source of all things. In all these things it is for the world against the world.

The Church is no less against the world for the world. She is against the world as she opposes the powers of the age, commands repentance, and attacks structures of oppression not because she has the illusion that the righting of these wrongs will establish a harmonious society, but because this is how she lives under Christ her King, who commands and enables her to do justice and love mercy. In this she is for the world, just as Christ was for the world as He commanded: 'Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near!'

How desperately we need to be for the world in a way that is against it, and against it in the way that is truly for it!

Gospel Basics: Who We Were

For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. (Titus 3:3)

The Gospel, which means 'good news', comes to those who desperately need good news. Lest we, as readers, think that then the Gospel is for them [the bad people], not us, the Apostle Paul makes it unambiguous: "we ourselves were once . . ." He does not say, "Some of us were . . ." but "we ourselves were . . ." The only people who have received this good news were formerly bad people. Indeed, Paul, in describing what 'we' were, is describing the condition of every human being apart from the Gospel.

We were foolish. It is not just that we were ignorant and didn't know what to do. No, we were foolish, knowing to a degree what was wise - and yet walking in the path of folly. A fool is not pitiable; a fool is contemptible. We can pity the ignorant who stumble into error, but we rightly despise the fool who sees danger and continues straight into it. That is precisely where all of humanity is before the coming of the Gospel.

We were disobedient. The nature of our folly was disobedience - at least to conscience, and in many cases to more direct revelation from the only true God. Every human being knows the experience of having a pang of conscience (which comes from God), and then foolishly, wickedly continuing on the path of error. This is our common human situation. No matter what degree of knowledge we have, every human being has turned away from what is right and good.

We were led astray. Is it possible that it wasn't our fault, then, if we were led astray!? No; it is possible both to be led, and to be responsible. Consider the two young boys in a convenience store: One says to the other, "Let's steal some candy!" The second boy, who had no impulse of his own to steal, gives in to the other and they both steal candy. The first clearly led the second astray; yet no one would rightly say that the second boy was not responsible for his action in stealing. Just so, we have been led astray and we bear responsibility for our folly and disobedience.

We were slaves to various passions and pleasures. If we can't pass it off on whoever led us astray, then certainly the language of slavery allows us to lay the blame at someone else's feet! Sadly, this kind of slavery makes us only more miserable, and responsible. For the passions and pleasures to which we are enslaved are our own passions and pleasures. The Apostle Paul uses the language of slavery to show us that the human condition is one of bondage and slavery from which we cannot free ourselves. We cannot simply turn away from folly and disobedience whenever we choose.

We passed our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. As we were led astray from the right way into foolish disobedience, we were enslaved to our own passions and pleasures. Functionally, we made ourselves the measure of all things, and the other people with whom we were made to live in love became enemies, rivals and competitors. So it is quite natural that in this condition, we hate one another, envy each other, and have malice for others. They threaten the satisfaction of our passions and pleasures (our masters), and make us even more miserable.

This is the desperate and miserable state into which the Gospel speaks. Before it speaks good news, it must speak truth, which is bad news, about the human condition. That truth is that our foolish disobedience has alienated us from our Creator, and from one another. As if that wasn't bad enough, this condition is enslaving and we cannot free ourselves from it. This is what the Gospel says about the human condition.

The greatness and glory of the Good News rest on this perspective of who we were. Any attempt to soften the bad news only tends to diminish the good news. The Gospel liberates us from slavery, reconciles us to God, makes peace with our neighbors, and brings us into wisdom and obedience that we could not accomplish by ourselves; the greatness of the salvation it offers is magnified by the contrast with the misery of the condition from which it snatches us.

[What this means for parenting, I hope to later unfold.]

One energetic, one snoozing child

Watching the boats with Zoe

Be much in prayer

. . . he that would be little in temptation, let him be much in prayer. (John Owen, Overcoming Sin and Temptation p196)

Fearing only sin?

Let no man, then, pretend to fear sin that does not fear temptation to it. . . . He hates not the fruit who delights in the root. (John Owen, Overcoming Sin and Temptation p193)

Gospel Basics

In several conversations recently, I have realized how important it is to define my terms. Where words have multiple, or ambiguous meanings, this is all the more necessary.

I talk a lot about the Gospel. For someone without a background in the Church, that might mean nothing at all; for some in the Church, it may have an entirely different meaning than what I take to be the Biblical reading. So, for the sake of clarity, I want to take time in a number of posts to explain the Biblical Gospel, and why it becomes the centerpiece of all of life for those who embrace it. I am going to use a New Testament letter from the Apostle Paul to a young man named Titus to explain the Gospel because this letter contains some of the most concise statements of the foundations of the Gospel.

I hope that by setting forth the Gospel clearly:

1. My readers who have never heard it may receive it and embrace it.
2. My readers who have misunderstood it formerly may also now receive and embrace it.
3. My readers who have already embraced it may be thrilled again with the beauty of it, and see afresh how it reorients everything around King Jesus.

As always, dialogue refines both articulation and understanding, so please feel free to comment!

Tired Kiddo

Elisabeth fell asleep sitting up on the bus yesterday!

Missionary Parenting

Many of my heroes are, or were, missionaries. I admire them for a host of reasons, not least of which that they have endured tremendous trials to bring the good news to others.

As a parent, I am well aware of the tension of living the Gospel, and the fear of putting our children in harm's way. I have talked with many a parent who would not consider living in certain places (even in this country) because of the challenges and disadvantages for their children. As we are now exploring educational options for Elisabeth (and since we have several friends with children who live in hostile places), I am thinking again much about missionary life.

Graciously, the Spirit reminded me that in the incarnation, the Father sent His beloved Son to be born in a barn under an infanticidal tyrant. The Father was not negligent, or unkind; yet in love sent His Son to be born away from comfort, soon to be a refugee.

If our loving Father was willing to put our Savior in this place for our good, can we not trust Him to take care of our children in the places to which He calls us? Is it possible that love for our children does not require us to shelter them from all harm, but to trust the Father to protect them regardless of how safe or unsafe a place appears to be? I am increasingly convinced that it is my unwillingness to trust the Father that keeps me from obedience. It is easy to say that I trust Him, while doing my best to control the environments in which I place my daughter. But have I truly trusted Him, or merely offered Him lip service, while trusting my own ability to protect my child?

Another one cuddling wth Mom