Dangerous combinations

Fire and things combustible may more easily be induced to lie together without affecting each other than peculiar lusts and suitable objects or occasions for their exercise. (John Owen, Overcoming Sin and Temptation p190)

2 cute bunnies

Cuddling with Mom

Yes, picnic season has arrived!

Loving a Wayward Child

As a blogger, I reflect on how the Gospel of Christ transforms all of life. As a full-time father, and part-time entrepreneur, much of my reflection on the Gospel relates to these two spheres. For the most part, I aim to offer meaningful, authentic reflections on those areas rather than scouring the internet to connect readers to other sources.

Today I want to transgress that pattern slightly by recommending Abraham Piper's reflections on 12 Ways to Love Your Wayward Child. Abraham speaks not from the perspective of a parent, but from that of one who has been wayward, and his words are wise and rooted in the Gospel.

HT: Justin Taylor

Conquest over sin

He that would indeed get conquest over any sin must consider his temptations to it, and strike at that root; without deliverance from thence, he will not be healed. (John Owen, Overcoming Sin and Temptation p187)

Pride and Ambition

Entering into temptation may be seen in the lesser degrees of it; as, for instance, when the heart begins secretly to like the matter of a temptation, and is content to feed it and increase it by any ways that it may without downright sin. In particular, a man begins to be in repute for piety, wisdom, learning or the like - he is spoken of much to that purpose; his heart is tickled to hear of it, and his pride and ambition affected with it. If this man now, with all his strength, ply the things from whence his repute, and esteem, and glory among men do spring, with a secret eye to have it increased, he is entering into temptation; which, if he take not heed, will quickly render him a slave of lust. . .

The same may be the condition with men, as was said, in preaching the gospel, in the work of the ministry. Many things in that work may yield them esteem - their abilities, their plainness, their frequency, their success; and all in this sense may be fuel unto temptations. (John Owen, Overcoming Sin and Temptation pp 188, 189)

Last week I got a glimpse of my pride that had grown unawares; and it was ugly. It frightened me how quickly and subtly, and yet powerfully it had grown - in contempt of Christ and the Gospel. I read this section from John Owen that diagnosed my condition so well, and was again grateful to have a mentor so wise and unrelenting.

Fear of hell

And they who are scared by nothing but fear of hell, on whom considerations short thereof [what dishonor to God, what scandal to the gospel, what woeful darkness and disquietness they may bring upon their own souls, though they perish not] have no influence, in my apprehension, have more reason to fear it than perhaps they are aware of. (John Owen, Overcoming Sin and Temptation p184)

Grinning with Norah

Know your own heart

Let him that would not enter into temptations labour to know his own heart, to be acquainted with his own spirit, his natural frame and temper, his lusts and corruptions, his natural, sinful, or spiritual weaknesses, that, finding where his weakness lies, he may be careful to keep at a distance from all occasions of sin. . . .

Seeing we have so little power over our hearts when one they meet with suitable provocations, we are to keep them asunder [apart], as a man would do fire and the combustible parts of the house wherein he dwells. (John Owen, Overcoming Sin and Temptation pp 201, 203)

One of the great responsibilities and privileges of parenting is to help our children to know their own hearts in order that they may "keep a distance from all occasions of sin." It is not enough to merely correct, instruct and encourage (although these are essential). Unless we teach our children to recognize their own particular weaknesses for the purpose of avoiding temptation and actively trusting Christ to deliver them from evil, we will deal only with the fruit and never with the root. Not only that, but we will lead them into frustration, because they will not learn how to put sin to death by the Spirit.

This, I would say, is where 'good' (moral, upright, and, in a human sense, wise) parenting and gospel parenting part ways. I use the phrase 'gospel parenting' deliberately. 'Christian parenting' ought to be identical in meaning, but in my observation has come to be more associated with 'good parenting' than with truly Christian parenting that accords with the Gospel. Consequently, I choose to use the phrase 'gospel parenting' not because it is different from what Christian parenting ought to be, but because it makes explicit that Christian parenting, if it is truly Christian, must be rooted in the Gospel.

Good parenting can be firm, gentle, loving and have integrity. There are a great many things that 'good parenting' can do. It can teach a child how to manage sin, and and even how to avoid some temptation. Yet it cannot do what is truly needed: It cannot reconcile the child to God; nor can it enable the child to overcome sin. Owen makes clear what we need:

For the provision to be laid up . . . is that which is provided in the gospel for us. Gospel provisions will do this work; that is, keep the heart full of a sense of the love of God in Christ. This is the greatest preservative against the power of temptation in the world. . . . [S]tore the heart with a sense of the love of God in Christ, and his love in the shedding [spreading abroad] of it; get a relish of the privileges we have thereby - our adoption, justification, acceptance with God; fill the heart with thoughts of the beauty of his death - and you will, in an ordinary course of walking with God, have great peace and security as to the disturbance of temptations. (John Owen, Overcoming Sin and Temptation p204, emphasis mine)

Parents who have believed and received the Gospel must make it their business not only to fill their own hearts with a sense of the love of God in Christ, but to teach their children to do the same. This only is the way to forgiveness of sin, and freedom from it.

Becoming more bold

I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel, so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ. And most of the brothers, having become confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, are much more bold to speak the word without fear. (Philippians 1:12-14)

The bold fearlessness that Paul observed among the brothers and sisters as the consequence of his imprisonment is no less real today. I am convinced from Scripture and experience that stories of faithful trust in God through persecution, hardship and imprisonment are frequently the tool of the Holy Spirit to make us more bold to speak the word without fear.

I could list dozens of contemporary and historical Christians whose faithfulness in the hard places has made me more bold in sharing the good news. I realize now that my parents played an important role in giving me a taste for missionary biographies. Those biographies, in turn, challenged me to more trust and boldness. So now, as I have the privilege of parenting, I want to regularly read to my children the faithfulness of God to those who have trusted Him through extremely trying circumstances, so that they too would be emboldened to trust Him.

Two classes of people

I heard Mark Dever say recently that the many ways that we classify people (men and women, Republican and Democrat, pro-war and anti-war, etc.) are all tertiary. The Bible lumps people into one of two camps: either being saved or perishing. I saw that especially clearly today reading 2 Corinthians 2:15,

"For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing . . ."

Either we are being saved by God, or we are perishing. This is the great division of humanity that drives the mission of the church: to spread the good news of Christ in order that through this message the Holy Spirit may depopulate "those who are perishing" and multiply "those who are being saved."

Pride and Humility

There is, therefore, something in humility which, strangely enough, exalts the heart, and something in pride which debases it. This seems, indeed to be contradictory, that loftiness should debase and lowliness exalt. But pious humility enables us to submit to what is above us; and nothing is more exalted above us than God; and therefore humility, by making us subject to God, exalts us. . . . And therefore it is that humility is specially recommended to the city of God as it sojourns in this world, and is specially exhibited in the city of God, and in the person of Christ its King; while the contrary vice of pride, according to the testimony of the sacred writings, specially rules his adversary the devil. And certainly this is the great difference which distinguishes the two cities of which we speak . . . (City of God p461)

I have found Augustine's treatment of the two cities (the city of God and the city of man) to be tremendously helpful in understanding how we are to live in the the world, 'the city of man', as strangers and sojourners, citizens of the 'city of God'. He defines the cities in this way:

When, therefore, man lives according to man, not according to God, he is like the devil. . . . When, then a man lives according to the truth, he lives not according to himself, but according to God; for He was God who said, 'I am the truth.' When, therefore, man lives according to himself - that is, according to man, not according to God - assuredly he lives according to a lie; not that man himself is a lie, for God is his author and creator, who is certainly not the author and creator of a lie, but because man was made upright, that he might not live according to himself, but according to Him that made him - in other words, that he might do His will and not his own; and not to live as he was made to live, that is a lie. (ibid p445)

The city of man is comprised of the proud, who live according to themselves; the city of God is comprised of the humble, who live according to God, doing His will and not their own - and that by the grace of God.

I desperately want our children to see the wisdom of God in saving the humble. To be even more clear: I want them to see that God saves the proud by making them humble, for there are no citizens of the city of God who were not formerly citizens of the city of man. I want them to see that this God-granted humility is not merely the means to joy for citizens of the city of God; it is their joy for God to be all in all. And so it is that "humility, by making us subject to God, exalts us" by taking us from the ruin and futility of our pride to be subject to God.

Enjoying the flowers with Uncle Gordon

The lie of sin

For no sin is committed save by that desire or will by which we desire that it be well with us, and shrink from it being ill with us. That, therefore, is a lie which we do in order that it may be well with us, but which makes us more miserable than we were. And why is this, but because the source of man's happiness lies only in God, whom he abandons when he sins, and not in himself, by living according to whom he sins? (City of God p445)

Unless parents teach their children to recognize the lie of sin, that lie will ensnare the children. Even when the parents have exposed the deceitfulness of sin, it is still powerful to deceive. It is not without reason that we are called to "exhort one another every day, as long as it is called 'today,' that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin" (Hebrews 3:13).

I think that there are two particularly opportune times to drive this message home. The first is when the child encounters advertising. Very often, when we purchase something "in order that it may be well with us", that thing or experience doesn't satisfy (because it couldn't), and it "makes us more miserable that we were." That is the deceitfulness of covetousness and greed. It is subtle, and works deep within our hearts. So it is immensely helpful to a child to help them early to recognize through advertising the false promises of sin.

The other opportunity comes through discipline. When a child has done something wrong, it is helpful to talk through the sin with them so that they can see where they were deceived into thinking whatever they did would make it well with them. If parents neglect this step, and skip to punishment, or even talk only what to do differently next time, the deceitfulness of sin has not been exposed. The child may not fail in that particular thing again, but they haven't seen and understood the power of sin to deceive them and make them miserable. This is the solemn privilege of parents: to help kids see this early and often so that they learn how to make war on sin.

Fun with Uncle Gordon

Today Elisabeth went to the zoo with Uncle Gordon and saw the polar bear swimming (above).

Democracy and capitalism

I have elsewhere quoted John Piper on the doctrine of original sin as the Christian reason for democracy:

G. K. Chesterton and C. S. Lewis said that the doctrine of original sin is the basis of a democratic form of government – where power is spread out over the people – because it is the only reason we can give for not absolutely trusting a ruling elite. In other words, the best argument of democracy is not that men are good enough to govern themselves, but that men are so bad none can be trusted with absolute power. (John Piper, emphasis mine)

It occurred to me recently that the Christian argument for capitalism is very similar. The best argument for capitalism is not that people are good enough to make the right choices in a free market, but that humans are so bad that none can be trusted with arbitrary power to distribute wealth equitably.

Both democracy and capitalism are weak, inasmuch as they are representative of the character of the people who participate in them. [Witness the United States.] Yet in them there is, at least in theory, a natural system of correction that does not exist in autocracy or socialism. [Witness the former Soviet nations.]

Consequently, Christians who participate in capitalism, like those who participate in democracy, should start on different foundations, and move in different currents, and speak in different ways than those who reject the doctrine of original sin.

Lesslie Newbigin captures well how the doctrine of original sin is anathema to the modern scientific worldview (which has championed democracy and capitalism) as he describes the massive shift that occurred in the Enlightenment:

The replacement of 'God' by 'Nature' involved a new understanding of 'Law'. There is no longer a divine law give whose commands are to be obeyed because they are God's. Laws are the necessary relationships which spring from the nature of things (Montesquieu). As such they are available for discovery by human reason. Reason is the faculty common to all human beings and is in principle the same everywhere. Provided it is not perverted by the imposition of dogmas from without, reason is capable of discovering what the nature of things is and what therefore are 'Nature's laws'. The most dangerous and destructive of all the dogmas which have perverted human reason is the dogma of original sin. To destroy this wicked slander against humanity is the first essential for the liberating of human reason and conscience to do their proper work. But this dogma is only the centrepiece of the whole structure of dogma which has to be destroyed. Any authority - of dogma, of scripture or of 'God' - which purports to replace human reason is to be rejected as false and as a treason against the dignity of the human being. (Lesslie Newbigin: Missionary Theologian p194, emphasis mine)

If the Gospel is our starting place, our engagement in democracy and capitalism will be entirely different from those who reject the Gospel with its doctrine of original sin. This is precisely what makes our engagement in politics and commerce evangelistic: that we cannot escape announcing the news that has turned the world on its head and that subverts the presumptuous power of Reason.

Pulling out all the stops

[Note: Rebecca noticed that I had missed one of Elisabeth's lines in this conversation the first time I posted, so I'm adding it in bold.]

Yesterday, after a short walk, we arrived home en famille. Elisabeth and Mommy started up the stairs while I stepped outside to receive a package from the UPS man. As soon as the door clicked closed, the following conversation ensued:

"Mommy, can I have some gum?"
"No, sweetheart."
"Then I'm not walking upstairs."
"It is time to walk upstairs."
"I'll walk up if you give me some gum."
"No."
"I'm sorry. I won't ever fuss again. Can I have some gum?"
"No."
"When we get home, I'm going to make a big, big mess!"

I couldn't help but laugh at how many diverse ploys Elisabeth tried in one conversation:

1. Ask the parent more likely to say 'yes' when the other parent is not present
   
2. The polite request
3. Open defiance
4. Invitation to bribery
5. Repentance as payment for goods
   
6. Threat of a tantrum

Thankfully, Mommy's will prevailed, and there was neither gum nor tantrum.

Entrepreneurship and parenting

I have been working on several posts on entrepreneurship and realized that there is a direct connection to parenting that I want to draw out:

Parents prepare their children, for better or for worse, to be members of society. They nurture their children spiritually, intellectually, socially and emotionally (and in other ways) to enable them to participate in human society. One of the ways that those children will, or at least should, participate in society is by working.

When I lived in Uganda, East Africa, I was introduced to two helpful ways of describing students: job-creators and job-seekers. The people in the village where I lived had begun to realize that the schools prepared students only to be job-seekers. Since the town was "in the bush" and the economy was almost entirely agricultural, there was very little commercial activity. Consequently, everyone who became 'educated' had to leave to find work. By contrast, there were a few Ugandans, whom I was privileged to know, who were job-creators; they were entrepreneurs. They saw opportunities, and took them - and created opportunities, jobs, capital, wealth and income for themselves and others.

I thought of job-creators and job-seekers as African descriptors (since I first encountered them there), until I returned to the United States and realized that those descriptors were very helpful in looking at students here: and by and large, they are job-seekers. While the American economic system thrives on entrepreneurship, surprisingly its educational system does not, in my opinion, intentionally shape students who think and act entrepreneurially.

So now as a parent and entrepreneur, I want to intentionally nurture my children to be job-creators. Another way to say it is that I want to raise my children to be critical thinkers and creative problem solvers who enrich their communities by using their God-given abilities to participate in and create meaningful work that benefits the community and provides a foretaste of the Kingdom of God.

If I prepare my children merely to take existing jobs that have been crafted by others, there will be at least two consequences:

1. They will likely not use their God-given creativity to the extent that He has ordained and designed.
2. They will, by virtue of being employees, need to submit (at least to a certain extent) to the vision and mission of their employer.

That is emphatically not to say that there is not dignity in working for others; I believe that there is. Nor am I denying that in the best businesses, employees are encouraged to be creative, and to contribute to the vision of the organization. What I am saying is that there need to be more businesses and organizations that creatively address needs, solve problems, and encourage their employees to do the same.

That is the kind of entrepreneur I aspire to be, and the kind of outlook that I long for my children to have as they prepare for, and participate in the world of work.

Sitting with Daffodils

Crock pots!

As the warmer weather has come upon us, we quickly realized that Elisabeth had outgrown her water sandals from last summer. Since they become her daily sandals (so that she can go in the sprinklers at the park whenever we're there), I was firmly set on getting some comfortable, durable, washable, non-absorbent water shoes/sandals.

I did a little research on what I wanted, and then set out to the store. I told Elisabeth what we were looking for, so when we walked into a shoe store, Elisabeth burst out:

"Crock pots!"

She almost got it.