No fussing
I had always wondered how I would handle fussing when Elisabeth was a toddler. Now that she is a toddler, I need to have an answer. I've found simply not permitting fussing is much more effective than I thought it would be.
When Elisabeth starts to fuss, I quickly address it (rather than letting her fuss until it grates on my nerves). I tell her:
- She must stop fussing. Period.
- She must use words to express her frustration because fussing doesn't communicate.
- She will not receive what she asks unless she uses words without even a hint of whining or fussing in her voice.
- There are consequences for fussing. (We will not do ___; we will do ____; etc.)
Like most of parenting, I've found that it takes energy and consistency. However, I've also found that with time Elisabeth fusses less frequently, and when she begins fussing, stops more quickly because she has learned that fussing is not acceptable and actually works against her.
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2 comments:
graham, your approach to fussing is absolutely brilliant. it's the exact approach my parents (especially my mother) used with me and it worked. after a while, when i realized that she wouldn't budge, i didn't bother fussing anymore. someday, when i become a mother, i hope to use the same approach with my children.
I'm glad to hear:
1) That I'm not the only one who's done this
2) That it has worked for others too
3) That you're grateful for it
I pray that it will be an encouragement to others to persevere in the hard work of being consistent.
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