More dancing

Baby woman

Elisabeth explained to me what we were before we grew up:

"I was a baby girl; you were a baby boy; and Mommy was a baby woman."

Excellent literature

I wish that every book I picked off the shelves had the literary and illustrative excellence of Library Lion. The book caught my interest because of its beautiful cover illustration, and the story line only exceeded my expectations.

Inside the dust jacket, the blurb asks,

"Could there ever be a good reason to break the rules? Even in the library?"

The story answers the question brilliantly, and helps children to think about the purpose for rules, the right attitude toward rules, and when there are even times to break the rules.

I highly recommend this book, and am going to check out some others by the same author!

The stories we tell our kids

It is not uncommon for Elisabeth to sit down with one of her favorite books and "read" it out loud. The books that she knows best, she can recite word for word, and even the ones that we don't read that frequently, she can often trace the story line, and retell the story in broad brush strokes.

That amazing ability that children have to comprehend, internalize and recite stories speaks something of the importance of which stories we tell (and read to) our children. We may think of them as merely silly stories (like the Sandra Boynton books), but in fact we are teaching our children a view of reality. If all we read are silly books, our children will, quite naturally, assume that stories don't convey meaning; they simply entertain. However, if the stories we select both teach and entertain (like most of Kevin Henkes' picture books), our children will become accustomed to the power of a great storyteller to convey meaning through a story.

Stories are impeccable teachers. On Sunday, Elisabeth persistently asked me if she could bring her purse to children's worship. When I said no, she asked if she could bring her phone. When she was denied again, she tried yet again. It was only then that I realized that a story would help her understand. I asked her, "Do you remember what happened in Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse?" That was all it took for her to understand the hazards of bringing toys to church.

Movement

Unless she is sleeping, there is motion!

On the dance floor

Elisabeth discovered the fun of a dance floor at a museum!

Walking in the rain

The only useful, fruitful . . . person

"The man that understands the evil of his own heart, how vile it is, is the only useful, fruitful, and solid believing and obedient person. Others are fit only to delude themselves, to disquiet families, churches and all relations whatsoever." (John Owen Overcoming Sin and Temptation p283)

The only way to a true knowledge of grace

When I read John Owen, I can't help but see the implications of his theology into parenting. Although he rarely addresses parenting, every time I pick up one of his writings, I gain insight into the responsibilities and privileges of parenting.

These words jumped out at me today:

There are two things that are suited to humble the souls of men, and they are, first, a due consideration of God, and then of themselves - of God, in his greatness, glory, holiness, power, majesty, and authority; of ourselves, in our mean [lowly, insignificant], abject, and sinful condition. . . .

Most men love to hear the doctrine of grace, of the pardon of sin, of free love, and suppose that they find food therein; however, it is evident that they grow and thrive in the life and notion of them. But to be breaking up the fallow ground of their hearts, to be inquiring after the weeds and briars that grow in them, they delight not so much, though this be no less necessary than the other. This path is not so beaten as that of grace, nor so trod in, though it be the only way to come to a true knowledge of grace itself. (John Owen Overcoming Sin and Temptation p282)

As parents, we must both model and teach this pattern: of a due consideration of God in his glory, and ourselves in our abject condition. If we want our children to come to a true knowledge of grace itself, we must teach them to discover and hate the deceitfulness and wickedness of their own hearts. Then will grace, pardon and love be all the more glorious, and our dependence on Christ the more true, complete and happy.

In God's great wisdom, we don't have to teach our children to do personal witch hunts, scouring their souls for lurking darkness. Rather we teach them to gaze on Christ, and to dwell in His presence. There is no better way to know our own sinfulness than by being in the presence of the Holy One - like Isaiah, who said, "Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!” (Isaiah 6:5) or Ezekiel, who fell on his face when he saw "the likeness of the glory of the Lord" (Ezekiel 1:28). Then we will quickly see the weeds and briars to root out and hate them in light of the glory we have seen.

"This is where I usually sit."

This week when we had guests in our home, Elisabeth wedged herself between the chair and the futon and announced to our visitors,

"This is where I usually sit."

"Cheezit"

This evening we took a family outing, and Elisabeth pointed and playfully said, "Cheezit"!

What was she pointing at?

Family

"Wash spit"

Here is a test of your ability to translate toddler language into adult vernacular. What is wash spit?

Pedaling

Imitating God in warning and promises

Parents (and all who deal with children) inevitably encounter the challenge of consistency. They need to follow through on their word. Yet there are times that it is appropriate not to follow through on a spoken promise or punishment.

The LORD revealed this to Jeremiah for the instruction of the people against whom Jeremiah was prophesying:

If at any time I declare concerning a nation or kingdom, that I will pluck up and break down and destroy it, and if that nation, concerning which I have spoken, turns from its evil, I will relent of the disaster that I intended to do to it. And if at any time I declare concerning a nation or a kingdom that I will build and plant it, and if it does evil in my sight, not listening to my voice, then I will relent of the good that I intended to do to it. (Jeremiah 18:7-10)

As God relents of disaster when people repent, and relents of good when people do evil, so parents have the privilege of mirroring the character of God to their children. If we, as parents, act toward our children as God acts toward us, they will learn that our word -and His - is indeed true. If they continue in a given path, they will receive the promised punishment or blessing; but if they turn from the good path, they will not receive blessing, and if they turn from the evil path, they will not receive disaster.

If we imitate God in our warnings and promises, our children will see in us the faithfulness, mercy and justice of God that is not capricious, but utterly truthful. If we utter threats that we do not follow through, or make promises that we do not fulfill, we will have very little weight when we tell our children them that God, our Father, is faithful. However, our imitation of God may be the instrument of the Holy Spirit to awaken our children to His faithful warnings and promises. How we speak to our children in warnings and promises - and how we follow through - is no light matter.

There must be a profound difference

The first priority, therefore, is the cherishing and nourishing of such a congregation in a life of worship, of teaching, and of mutual pastoral care so that the new life in Christ becomes more and more for them the great and controlling reality. That life will necessarily be different from the life of the neighborhood, but the important thing is that it be different in the right way and not in the wrong way . . . We ought to recognize, perhaps more sharply than we often do, that there must be a profound difference between a community that adores God as the great reality, and one where it is assumed that God can be ignored. (Lesslie Newbigin: Missionary Theologian p145)

Children are some of the most astute observers of human behavior. They, perhaps more clearly than adults, quickly observe the many differences between the community that adores God as the great reality, and the larger society where it is assumed that God can be ignored. Our great privilege as parents is to build every aspect of our new lives around the good news so that our children see that it is the great and controlling reality not only in word but in deed.

Good parents, bad parents

Recently I've realized just what a chasm there is between good parenting and bad parenting. Not too long ago we had some friends over for dinner who have a two-year old. When she disobeyed her parents, they were direct, clear, firm and soft in their tone. They quickly got on eye level with her. Not only did they unambiguously state that they expected her obedience, they also asked questions to get at the root of the disobedience. Was there confusion? Was there ambiguity? There would be no more because their expectations were clearly stated, and obedience was expected.

What made this incident so memorable to me is how rare it is. I was very impressed because it is so uncommon to see a parent be both emphatic and empathetic, soft in volume and firm in tone. I am accustomed to seeing parents make empty threats: "If you do that one more time . . ." or raising their voice to correct a child, or reprimanding when clarification was more appropriate.

I want to learn to be a good and wise parent, and I want to be the kind of parent that enables others to grow in that wisdom.

Reading Calvin and Hobbes

Much to my delight, Elisabeth has taken to reading Calvin and Hobbes. Here, both she and Zoe sat down with a comic anthology.

Found on the path in the park

This week as we were walking to a friend's house, we saw something rather large walking across the path, and were puzzled by how slow it was moving. When we got closer, we realized that our little (or not so little) crustacean friend had wandered from his home. (Sorry the picture is fuzzy.)

Literacy development

Elisabeth has begun asking to read words that she can decode (which is very exciting for her Daddy). It is now common occurrence that when we open a book, Elisabeth will ask,

"Is there a word that I can read?"

We find a simple two-letter word that she can decode (tonight the word was "to"), and every time we come to it in the text, she gets to read it.

It has been a wonderful transition for her in observing the flow of print, because obviously she wants to know when I get to the next "to" on the page so that she can read it. I'm really excited for her to develop a sight word vocabulary, in addition to being able to decode, so that when we read she can point out all the words she knows.