Speak much, and speak little

I talk a lot. Too much. I notice it, and I notice how it affects my daughter. When I repeat myself, her ears are less attuned to what I say, because she knows I'll say it again. When I tell her something she knows (e.g. 'Don't throw sand.'), I don't clarify the issue, I only add noise to the situation; I become a nag.

I have heard many times that the most effective parents speak much with their children. I think it is true. But now I'm beginning to realize that the best parents also speak little. They speak with their children in authentic conversation, but they don't repeat themselves, or elaborate unnecessarily. They prod with good questions, and listen much. When they speak to their children in directives, they don't nag, plead or threaten. They can speak softly, firmly and with few words because they ask questions in order to understand their children, they listen in order to know them, and they give directions to be obeyed.

I want to be a parent like that.